NUMB

I keep trying to move away

Not from you or from us

from these horrible two people

whom I can’t seem to understand.

This cant be us! It can't !

But I seem to be moving away from myself

And from you. So lost and alone....

I feel like u took a punch at me when I was already down

And then kicked me in the gut

There is nothing else to explain this pain

A numbness is taking over.......

Everything matters lesser and lesser.

My insides crawl with the feeling of me…

I wanna get out of this Skin

I fell swallowed up inside Strangled and unable to breathe

Unable to take this pain...

If I stand, My legs will give way

If I speak, My mouth will say things I don’t want to

If I feel, I will hurt If I just stay quiet, I will succumb to this pain

If I think, I will not like what you say or what I say, or do, or not do।

What do I do? Is there a release? Anything…anything at this moment…

I just don’t want to

Stand,

speak,

feel,

stay quiet,

think…

I want to be NUMB......

They Say.....

They say time can heal the pain,

as for you love was just a game,

but how to tell them the importance you had in my life,

that now it seems like a lost fight

how should i tell them,

the way we used to talk and the way we used to walk,

all the time we shared when we were a pair,

which still has the power to hurt me more than i can bear,

they will never know the sweet things you used to say,

the way we used to lay,

it brings tears in my eyes to think that for you it was just a play,

and to me you Both betray…

they tell me to ask you that didn't you ever realize it was my heart that was under your feet..

on which you stamped upon and crushed it beneath..

they tell me to forget the past and to make myself a new start..

but how to tell them that this heart still beats for you,

but for you love was not true

tell me if wat they say is right

coz if so then i'll move aside....

TEASING GAME

Poke and run.
Poke and run.

Waiting for a reaction.
A bet.

Who will give way first?
Testing each others boundaries.

Who can take more?
Who will be the first to break?

Who can be blamed and who can blame?
Neither wanting to be the first.

Cant they see, these ignorant fools?
End of the day

They both lose.
No winners.

Only two people
with nothing left to achieve

two strangers
two separate lives

that should’ve been one
and yet they choose to do the same

poke and run.
Poke and run.

First Kiss

First Kiss

Crinkle-toed
I stare hypnotized
At the point
Where your throat-pulse
Fondles my fingertips--
Breathlessly searching
For the emotions
To describe that
Tendon -trembling,
Tongue-tingling
Vulnerability
Too casually called
A kiss.

Take My Hand

Take my hand as I grow weak.
Guide me when I'm blind.

Show me that you truly care.
Close friends are hard to find.

Through my hand, see into my heart,
Help me get my start.

Take my hand and I'll take yours;
I'll make you mine, if you make me yours.

Be that someone in my life.
Be that smile without the pain of the knife.

I'll stand by you, if you stand by me.
I'll be there if you truly see.

See through my hand and into my heart.
Look past the appearances of the start.

Look into the part that really matters.
See my soul and climb its many ladders.

Take my hand and I'll take yours.
I'll make you mine if you make me yours.

Physical Proximity

Closing the mind out to what seems like a hallucination,
mind playing games with feelings
the heart/head complex!
the head knows a lot but you don't like to listen
squeezing and squeezing
till all thats remaining of reality is bitter drops,
that never seem enough.
And you wish you had just a little more.
The illusion of togetherness, or not.

Trying to find anyone to put the blame on,
as long as its not you.
Convincing yourself that you did all you could
and that somethings are the way they are
words written on sand.
Your life written on sand?
washed away not by the waves of everydayness,
but, by the few drops of illusions
that poisoned the heart
or saved it from drowning.

Broken Heart

Screaming pain hurtling through space
Scattered about, but in one place
Agony crying in the dark
Everything falling apart
Black tangled heart filled with scorn
Already dead, but not yet born

The blackest night filled with torturous cries
Trapped inside a web of lies
Inside, the fires burn
Will these people ever learn?
Anger, sadness, fear, regret

A wave of emotion with which I'm met
Swirling blackness erupting from deep inside
Tormented anguish I try so hard to hide
Shivering from deflated hope

My heart hanging from a noose of rope
Isolated, my pain sets me apart
All this . . . from a broken heart

I am here laying on my bed,
a glimpse of you crosses my head,
softly a tear drop rolls down my face,
then it reaches the cold floor,
racing to get to your door.
(all because i miss you so)